The Seven Deadly Sins of Nail Polish Application
- Haste. Truly, fate will not pity thee if thou art in a rush, and the manicure goddess will not smile upon thee in a panic.
- Carelessness. Only she whose nails are perfect and free of divots and gouges may cast judgment upon thy divoted, smudged and chipped nails. And she will, she will.
- Cheapness. Take care for the base coat of protection, for though thy polish may be for but one night, the stains of it shall surely last through the workday of the morrow.
- Impatience. If you apply but a single coat, but do so thickly, yea, thou shalt indeed cover in one coat what others do in three. But I say unto you, they shall boast of their perfection of finish and evenness of colour – while you wait at home for yours to dry.
- Compulsiveness. Run not the risk of brushing thy polish into thy nail lest the stroke marks thereof endure forever. But heed the wisdom and crave the serenity of those who gently flow their polish liquidly onto their nail and gently let it assume its intended beauty.
- Excess. Do not shake thy polish bottle so that bubbles form and thicken thy polish before its time. Yea, those who roll their polish bottles may be but wimps but their polish shall last unthickened for generations. Well, not quite, but you get the idea.
- Wretched excess. Heed thou the teachings of good taste and hearken to those who preach the virtues of practical nail lengths, lest the intolerant and unwashed around you heap aspersions and derisions upon you and your sisters – or worse, you gouge someone’s eye out.