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You Got it Nailed, Baby!

Naked Nails

Keeping it simplefiling

A surprising number of women don’t wear nail polish. Check it out.

You too can crossdress without nail polish, but let’s face it, sometimes a set of beautiful, slick, shiny, bright nails just feels right.

True, you can’t wear them everywhere. For example, when you’re at the jobsite and you hear your testosterone-charged co-worker yell, “Hey, Joe, nice nails!” you just know, somehow, he’s not talking about hardware.

There’s a lot of feminisation you can get away with, though. The simplest, and the best for your nails, is:


You can get your nails buffed to a high gloss at a salon, or you can do it yourself for a lot less money. No polish application is involved.

Revlon makes Shape ‘n’ Buff, which sounds like it should be a piece of exercise equipment advertised on late-night TV. It won’t do anything for your derriere but works wonders on your nails. It’s a bar of rigid foam with six different abrasive surfaces on it. Use the coarsest one for overall shaping of the tip of the nail (not on the surface!), then smooth and round it with the next. The next four grades are successively finer and smoother and are designed for the surface of the nail. Buff rapidly and firmly but gently with each grade in order on each nail, ending up with the final Shine grade which will leave a high gloss. Don’t skip grades and take care not to scratch in your enthusiasm or you’ll have to work the marks out one grade at a time (gosh, sounds worse than school!). Your patience and time will be rewarded with a high gloss that can be maintained indefinitely as part of your regular nail care regimen.

Okay, you’re still getting weird looks (“Hey, Joe, what nice, bright, shiny nails you have!”). Or you just have to have the feel of nail polish on your nails. Or you just have to go through the process. Why not try:

Matte Polish

Yes, it exists. Clear nail polish and base coat (sort of a primer for nail polish) are available in gloss and matte finishes. Ridge fillers are extra thick and designed to fill in ridgy nails. Nail strengtheners usually have additives or fibres that reinforce weak nails. Try any of the matte finishes over your beautifully buffed nails for a natural look.

For those special occasions, you’ll want to take the next step: Colour!