Chapter Three
Contents
When we checked into our hotel in Albany, one that Alan had stayed at before, I reminded Alan that I’d been late in the office the previous evening, getting the Berfield plans ready, and I wouldn’t mind getting off to my room soon after an early dinner. That was okay with Alan, so after I’d unpacked and laid out Alison’s things on the other bed, I went back down and joined him in the restaurant, secretly looking forward to how I would become a much happier and more relaxed person for the rest of the evening.
After dinner we moved to the lounge for a quick drink before I headed upstairs. Both of us are knowledgeable motorsport fans and we got to talking about obscure British race car drivers of the 1950’s, the likes of John Coombs, Roy Salvadori and Jimmy Stewart, Jackie’s elder brother. “How about Roberta Cowell” said Alan suddenly. “Heard of her ?”. This time he really caught me off guard and I know it showed. “Oh,” I said after a couple of moments of confusion, “Yes, I’ve heard of her. Had been Robert Cowell. Very minor race-car driver. Another gender-crosser. I read about her in a British magazine when I was a kid. Went to Sweden for surgery, actually ahead of Christine Jorgensen, although that isn’t generally known.”
Alan’s response was silence for a minute, then he gave me a strange look and his voice hardened. “Three obscure gender-crossers, Cornbury, McCloskey, Cowell, and you know about them all. You know a lot more about gender-crossing than you’re letting on.”
And to my surprise he leaned forward, put his hand to my shoulder, then sat back holding up, between his forefinger and thumb, a hair about twenty inches long. There was only one place it could have come from — the ash-blonde wig on the bed in my room. And what came next floored me even more. “It’s time,” he said “for me to know about this Alison business. You’d better not try to hide it.” I could feel my face going pale, my stomach churning, and I didn’t even try to lie my way out . All I could say, stammering, was “How did you find out ?” He didn’t answer my question. Instead he got up. “I’m going to make some calls” he said curtly. “When I get back, we’ve got to have this out.” And without another word he walked out of the lounge.
I sat there absolutely shattered. Life was coming crashing around me. The conversation, when he came back, would tear me apart. And for sure he’d tell Barbara — maybe he was on the phone to her now — and sooner rather than later she’d feel she had a duty to tell Maggie. What would this do to my marriage, to the kids ? And what about the business ?
My dejection grew as I sat there. I watched two young women come into the lounge and my thoughts turned to the injustice of it all. Why had fate dealt me such a rotten hand ? Why was it that those two girls, with full approval and encouragement of society, could dress the way they wanted, wear make-up, have beautiful hair and be delightfully feminine, all totally acceptable, yet all of that was absolutely forbidden for me ? I had tried to cross the barrier on my own, secretly without hurting anyone, but now I was going to be despised, ridiculed. Even worse. And Alison would have to go.