Chapter 3
Dad was still convinced that what was happening with me was just a phase and when I turned sixteen he consulted our family doctor (who already had his suspicions) and got a referral for me to a psychotherapist, Dr. MacNaughton; it was arranged I would have a series of one-on-one sessions with him. From the start these were, to my surprise, quite relaxed. After some quiet questioning Doctor Mac just sat back and let me pour my heart out. And after four sessions like that, to three of which I went androgynously dressed, he felt we’d covered enough ground and it was time for a meeting with Mom and Dad – with me present – for him to lay out what he had concluded.
At the meeting Doctor Mac was brief and straightforward. He did not think this was a phase that would pass. He thought it would be a good idea for me to have a session with him every six months or so but he did not think that counselling would change me. Wanting to be a girl, he told my parents, was for Josie (yes he called me that!), something that had started at least ten years ago, and the desire and determination for it to happen had been foremost for her (yes, he used that pronoun!) ever since. Josie, he said, is now approaching adulthood and should be allowed to shape her life the way she wants it. She, he went on, is conscious that this will be very difficult for you; she says that she will try not to make it any worse for you than inevitably it will . She’s also very conscious that transition from Joe to Josie will be very difficult for her. But she’s determined to go forward. My conclusion, Doctor Mac said to Mom and Dad, is that Josie, with your support, should be allowed to make up her own mind as to how she will dress and present herself, at home, at school, and in public places. And then, with a smile, he asked Dad if he would be able to handle female pit-crew help.
My parents were stunned but, as caring, responsible people who still loved me as one of their kids, after questioning and discussion they agreed to go along with the recommendations. I was quietly ecstatic. But then Doctor Mac added: “There’s one thing I must insist on. Yes, Josie is approaching adulthood but she’s not quite there yet. There’s something that should not be considered by you, or by her, for a few more years until she has lived full-time female and she is adult, adult physically and mentally. That something is no, repeat no, medical intervention.” For me that was a big disappointment, but I saw that I had to accept it as a trade-off for what I was about to gain. So I said I would respect what Dr. Mac was insisting on.